Pan and Slam

Director: Seth MacFarlane

Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried

by Jason Koenigsberg

Seth MacFarlane’s Ted 2 has its share of laughable moments. Unfortunately they are too few in an overlong and mundane story that takes itself too seriously. I suppose some credit should be given to MacFarlane in his attempt to be topical and relevant in a story about a bear (the title character) trying to sue for his right to be married/adopt a child and be considered a person and not property. However all of the scenes that are dedicated to the plot of Ted 2 take away from the laughs and there are some uproarious moments.

The acting is good across the board and the direction is much better than Seth MacFarlane’s sophomore effort from last years dreadful A Million Ways to Die in The West. They quickly explain why Mila Kunis is out of the picture, (but they could always bring her back if they make a Ted 3). Mark Wahlberg’s character John and Seth MacFarlane’s Ted are both about the same from the first movie and a lot of the other characters are back, none more welcoming than Sam Jones aka Flash Gordon and I really enjoyed seeing Patrick Warburton and his new boyfriend especially with their scenes at New York City’s Comic Con I would not want to ruin that for anyone.

The biggest problem with Ted 2 is the length. This movie at 115 minutes feels very long. The reason is because a lot of its run time is dedicated toward driving the story. As it does that it forgets to be funny, then they add on scenes of raunchy humor to satisfy the movie goers who bought a ticket expecting some low brow and ribald humor. But there are some very good jokes involving bodily fluids, sex, drugs and pop culture references that will make a good portion of the audience laugh (I especially liked the Gollum ones), just not enough to go around for the nearly two hours we spend with these characters. It also contained some quick-witted references to the first film that a lot of fans will pick up on and enjoy.

Plus, our director/writer/producer/star “MacFarlanes” it up with musical numbers that are nice for a moment but go on way too long. The opening credits are an elaborate dance number with our title character having a Broadway Melody homage that feels like it goes on forever, similar to the opening choreographed dance number from Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (1984). There’s also a campfire solo sung by Amanda Seyfried about the moon. Both were nice but did not need to last as long as they do.

In the end, I cannot in good conscience recommend Ted 2 because it did not have enough laughs to sustain the entire movie. It deals with morals and ethical topics that our society is tackling in the news today, but its not as poignant as it can be (nor should it be, this is Ted 2 we are talking about not a drama about social injustice starring Denzel Washington or Susan Sarandon) but the main problem is, its just not funny enough to warrant the price of admission. Save your money and go do something else preferably outside on this Fourth of July Weekend. Ted 2 can wait until it premieres on HBO or Starz.

Here is one of the short funny moments from Ted 2.