Pan and Slam

Movie Review: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

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PG-13 | 2h 8min

by Jason Koenigsberg

The Jurassic movies have never been a particularly strong series of films. The first film was a game changer for special effects when it premiered 25 years ago and it was directed by Steven Spielberg during the zenith of his career. Since then each subsequent film has felt like a half-hearted cash grab and the newest film Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is no exception. Which is a real shame because it’s director J. A. Bayona has made impressive suspenseful pictures such as The Orphanage (2007) and The Impossible (2012).  Sadly, not even the great Spielberg himself could have salvaged Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. 

The film opens up in darkness underwater with a deep sea vehicle coming towards the camera. It leads into a dull and predictable pre-title action sequence that will only scare viewers if they have never seen another movie before. After the apathetic opening the rest of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom follows suit with bland and predictable scenes for the next two hours. This movie is not thrilling, nor is it fun, it is just sort of there and would be better than looking at a blank screen for two hours. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is nothing but a series of ridiculous scenes with utterly illogical outcomes. 

Chris Pratt returns much to his dismay. The previous Jurassic World (2015) really helped boost his movie star status, but despite his massive success in some Marvel films, he is still not a big enough star to say no to a huge Jurassic World sequel and its giant paycheck even though everything about this film feels beneath him. Bryce Dallas Howard is also back with her high heels as Pratt’s love interest with not much else to do but run and look pretty while she does it. The biggest waste of talent was their lack of use with Jeff Goldblum reprising his beloved role of Dr. Ian Malcolm from the original Jurassic Park movies. My guess is they only had time to shoot his scenes in one day, or they did not want to pay him for more than one day and what you see of him in the previews is basically what you get. A travesty for a great actor in one of his biggest roles. 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a middling social commentary about the environment and animal rights. The plot involves our main characters from the last film going back to the island to save the dinosaurs that ravaged the island at the end of the last film. They turn the cause into a fight to save dinosaurs from extinction a second time, but once again the humans are so stupid they foul so many things up over the course of the film, it is amazing our species is not extinct yet. 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom takes a lot from early Spielberg films especially the Indiana Jones pictures, but it’s biggest glaring flaw is the screenplay. The dialogue in this movie is so terrible, one might step back during the movie and ask themselves “do people actually talk like this?”. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is the most artificial movie of the series, and is possibly the worst movie of the year. 

Skip Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and watch this throwback to Weird Al Yankovic’s parody of the first Jurassic Park.